Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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