Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
