I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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