Christians are straight up FREAKS
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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