i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
