you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
