i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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