Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
