WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
