Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
