i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
