after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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