You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
