11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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