Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
