That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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