I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
