His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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