i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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