god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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