You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
