I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
