no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
