Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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