rhymes with "ouble enetration"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
