i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
