why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
