we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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