You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
