We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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