would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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