epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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