filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
