i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
