Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
