Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
