just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
