If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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