JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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