I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
