She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
