I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
