Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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