Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
