I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
