margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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