Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
