I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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