is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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