if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
